It is human nature for people to want their feelings and their ideas to reign. And while there is nothing wrong with ownership, it is the inability to go beyond an “I” addiction that is the problem. When people get stuck in singularity they make very poor group participants. Then when the singularity addiction begins to spread to those surrounding the “I” person, relationships start falling apart.

It is frequently the “I” addiction that is the source of failure when a sports team, a marriage, or a business begins to fail. It takes only one person who refuses to become part of a synergy for the whole to be affected. So whether you are interacting in an intimate twosome or in a group, make sure your feelings and ideas are both honest and disposable. For it is only by transmuting the singular thoughts and feelings into ones that support the whole, that a group synergy can be built.

So how will you know when your honest sharing has moved past “mine” to “ours”? Check your intent. Is it to have your thoughts be the subject or for your thoughts to be an adjunct to the group intent? You will know you are there when you begin to feel a resonance, instead of a tension, between you and the other participants. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will all have instant agreement. But you can feel the shift when you are all trying to reach the same goal. And of course that goal will have to be one that serves the higher good of each participant.

Unfortunately, we don’t always realize what our higher good is. One clue is that you will see value in everyone. Even though you may be disagreeing at the moment, you know the other person’s higher self transcends their immediate presentation. And when you stop stumbling over differences, this allows you eventually to reach a group synergy.

Thus, the goal is to always walk away expanded from a sharing. It doesn’t matter if you are the initiator or the receiver; the intent must be the same. And that intent must always be to step beyond the “I” addiction so unity can happen in you, between you and them, and even expand into the world. It is this kind of synergy that we all long for, but we often forget that we can make it happen.