Remember the Wicked Queen in the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? She was obsessed with being the most beautiful in the land. So she would daily ask her magic mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?” Even though I heard the story many times as a child, I didn’t fully take in the message of how comparisons can turn you into an unreal person.

Desiring to be better than others, rather than desiring to be the best “you” is a common failing. And just as the Wicked Queen in the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, we often focus more on comparisons with others than on the quality of the energy that we are offering.

When you offer a heart-backed expression, it becomes the subject. With that intent in focus, you are no longer concerned with how well your words were received, how well your action turned out, or even how good the experience made you feel.  You were just being you.

Accepting that “you” are enough is the only way you can love yourself. And the only way you can love others is by seeing them through your eyes of love.  Therefore, if you want relationships to have value, you will need to give up the role of a mimic.

By comparing yourself to others in order to measure your value, you become a clone. You may be such a well behaved, and well-liked clone that no one suspects the real you is hidden behind a composite of others’ traits.  And you may even fool yourself into believing your mimicked behavior is real.  However, unless you are allowing the qualities of your heart to shine through, you will always be looking for a magic mirror to tell you that you are fair.