Recently I had someone I considered to be a good friend say she didn’t feel loved by me. I must say, it totally hit me hard. So of course I started trying to guess where I had failed her. After meditating on it, I clearly understood that she didn’t feel loved by anyone because she didn’t love herself.

That realization led me to the question of how exactly does one go about learning to love themselves? And since I clearly know that all love resonates between our spiritual hearts at all times, the question was reworded to ask, “What wakes us up to love’s presence?”

When I thought back to the friend’s total unawareness of all the many heart qualities I felt us share, I was again shocked that she couldn’t feel what I felt so strongly. We both have big heart qualities of purity, order, organization, and structure. In fact, I often connect with the synergy from one of those qualities when I am doing a task by myself. But obviously, this was not true for her.

So I started to name the heart quality that was being shared when we worked together. That didn’t get any further than her mind agreeing with me. Then after the task we were doing together was completed, I would once again comment on how the energies shared looked in physical form. This didn’t work either.

Now I was back to square one, “What wakes us up to love’s presence?” After much pondering, I realized that until her programmed belief that she was not loveable was removed, there was nothing I could say, do, or offer that would wake her up. So I gave her a space to talk about where love was missing while growing up. She did share about it. But still, she claimed to feel unloved.

Finally, I realized my focus was solely on waking her up to what facets of love we share that I was not focused on personally loving those facets when I was with her. This was a huge lesson in totally staying focused on what the heart is offering and not on how the person is receiving it.

Truly it was my focus on love that she needed in order to wake up to love’s presence. Whenever there is awareness of the heart resonance, love is present. However, when the awareness is on making someone aware that love can exist, its presence will be missed.