Early in life we are taught that balancing the dualities of bad with good and wrong with right will make us better people. Unfortunately, stepping onto one end of a duality means the person at the other end is at odds with us. To be a truly good person you need love. And to love, instead of judge or fear those at the other end of a duality interaction, means the me/they must be seen as equal.

The best equalizer I have found is forgiveness. And it is not about forgiving the other person but forgiving ourselves for perpetuating duality instead of unity in the world. When our intent is the unity of love, forgiveness becomes a “duality eraser.” That doesn’t mean we won’t still have standards of right/wrong and good/bad, we will. But the forgiveness eraser keeps us from being good for their bad, or wrong for their right. With the need for duality erased, we can stand in the circle of love where there is acceptance of wounds and differences.

Years ago, a friend betrayed me. She dumped all the judgments she held against me on a new member of our community. I was evolved enough to realize her judgments came from her woundedness, and that if she couldn’t love herself she couldn’t love me. But all that knowing didn’t erase the deep emotional pain that I felt. Unfortunately, I had wrapped that sense of betrayal around me as protection rather than forgiving her fall into duality.

That wounded part of me laid dormant between us for quite a while. Then when someone else showed an interest in our community, the dormant duality wound rose again. Thankfully this time I could forgive myself and herself for playing on the duality teeter-totter. We are both divine beings. It doesn’t matter if she judges me. It cannot hurt my true self unless I step into the duality battle and become a victim. It is through the magic of forgiveness that one’s belief in the illusion of duality evaporates.

With each fall from unity into duality, forgiveness is there with arms of love. So any time duality strikes one of your relationships, remember to call on forgiveness to erase the feeling that you are on separate teams. Forgiveness doesn’t make a wrong right but it keeps you from becoming a victim of that wrong. Plus, it keeps you from seeing the other person as a victimizer. They are just stuck in a wound and wounds hold no power unless we believe in them.