Any time we want any heart qualities to flow TO us rather than THROUGH us, we have an external attachment. For instance, if I want someone to tell me I look nice in my new outfit, then I want beauty to come to me. But if my outfit helps me recognize I have the quality of beauty within me, then it can flow through me. But to claim my heart’s qualities as the source, I must release my attachment to having them come from outside of me.

This simple “through or to” awareness helps you choose the qualities that are part of your creation. It helps you to be you. This in turn eliminates the nasty ego hooks that attach envy, contempt, or competition to you. These three nasties live outside of a person until they are pulled TO us to replace what is real within us. Once this happens, we forget who we are and become attached to manipulating the outside to give us what we falsely believe we are missing.

Envy constantly tells you who you are not by making the qualities of others seem better than yours. You then either work hard trying to measure up or give up and fade into the shadows. Contempt puts a blindfold on your heart so you cannot see any real qualities—yours or theirs. And, competition keeps reminding you that you have to fight to get what you believe you need from others.

When focused on having the real you manifest in each expression, attachments to outside donors will fade away. Instead, relating will become a resonance of shared heart qualities. This is the love we all aspire to but do not always know how to reach. We don’t feel good in envy, contempt, or competition but until we allow our heart qualities to flow THROUGH us we will keep getting caught in those outside traps.

With this shift in authenticity, relationships will regain balance. Goals will fit who you are rather than who you hope to become. And your external creations will mirror who you are inside, making external attachments disappear. In other words, letting your heart qualities flow THROUGH YOU RATHER THAN TO YOU will give you a fresh start in life. You might actually come to love yourself.