Generally, we believe that love is the treasure everyone is looking to find. But if you take a closer look, you will find many people prefer to be loved less. Of course they would never admit that, even to themselves. But their actions tell the tale of how often they push love away.

Most generally the love-less addiction is well hidden underneath good manners and any number of well-honed personality patterns. But when any personality pattern is consistently used to hide the vulnerable underbelly of a person, they are in danger of falling into a love-less addiction. For instance, have you ever known anyone who was constantly funny? You may enjoy their humor, but do you ever get to know the person behind the humor?

My father used work as his hiding place, while my mother used worry.  My ex’s whole family used knowledge as their safe harbor. Then of course there are the quiet hiders as well as the constant talkers. One lady I knew always said and did whatever was appropriate for the moment, so her real essence often got covered up. All of these people that I have known are good human beings. They don’t lie, cheat, or steal. They are not even close to being alcohol or drug addicts, but they are addicted to a life of blocking some of the love that is offered, because they are trained to hide behind certain patterns.

Does this mean that you have to feel vulnerable all the time to stay open to love? No. That would make the cost of love too high. However, you do have to be willing to recognize what heart-energy is being covered up by your personality pattern. For example, if a person is worried that they won’t appear to be enough in a situation, then they are hiding their heart’s essence of Acceptance. Or if they are really working hard to make things turn out perfect, they probably are not valuing the heart-energy of Quality that their essence is offering.

So to sum this up, ask yourself, “Do I appreciate the energy that I am offering behind my learned mental, emotional, or physical personality patterns?” If not, you are suffering from a love-less addiction, because love is a resonance of one heart with another. And if you are hiding your heart, it can’t be loved.